Day 10: Slashdance

   

 Ah, the 80's! When most people look back it's hard not to think of dancing in spandex and sweatbands. Films like Flashdance really popularized this cheesy 80's style of dancing. Just like anything else that was the least bit relevant in pop-culture, it was only a matter of time before the slasher genre tried to cash in.

      Young beautiful women who audition at a small Hollywood theater are going missing. Tori Raines (played by Cindy Maranne/Ferda. She actually was a professional wrestler for the GLOW promotion under the ring name Americana.) is a tough as nails police officer known for her undercover work. After busting steroid dealers and some skinheads who mug the homeless, she is called onto the missing dancers case. Going undercover once again, she poses as a dancer in the play to get closer to her suspect.

      You can't expect much terror from a film titled "Slashdance". You don't get much either, this slasher is as campy as they come. Everything is literally dripping with cheese. The police captain is a complete narcissist, steroid dealers act like female pro wrestlers (They probably were), and Tori has no probably drop kicking any criminal she crosses paths with. Detective Raines even has a tragic backstory that haunts her throughout the film but has absolutely no significance to the plot. And when I say tragic, I mean literally everything bad that could happen to her family has happened. Her audio only flashbacks are as eyeball rolling yet hysterical as it gets.

     So all of this sounds like a lot of fun. Hey I'm a fan of some camp with my horror. The main problem is that there is very little horror. We get two scenes of stalk and slash, one accidental suicide, a shooting, and a pathetic excuse for a final chase scene. Meanwhile, the killer becomes all but forgotten in the middle portion of the film while Raines dances away with her fellow cast members over and over and over again. The plus side to all of this is that all the girls are beautiful. Most of the supporting cast were roster members of GLOW and they look incredible in spandex.

      Slashdance has all the makings for a fantastic SOV slasher flick: An awesomely terrible CGI Knife title card, over the top acting, more awful dialogue than actual slashing, and minor celebrities in starring roles. It however, is not SOV. The production value appears pretty decent actually. This film can be a ton of fun with a few friends. Just don't expect much tension or suspense.

Body count:5
Side Note: GLOW stands for Gorgeous Ladies Of Wrestling and began in 1986. It has been revived and continues to this day. This film could be fun for fans of the promotion.