Day 31: Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare

       By the time 1991 rolled around Freddy Krueger had come full circle. He was no longer a terrifying figure that haunted audiences long after viewing. He was now a pop culture icon! Of course, with that mainstream appeal came a decline in the overall quality of the Nightmare films. In 1991 New Line decided to put out one more cash cow before they called it “quits”.

      Freddy’s Dead takes place in the absurd setting of Springwood, Ohio now devastated by Krueger’s murders. There is only one surviving teenager in the entire town. Freddy sends him to another town, presumably to bring him more teens. Things aren’t as they seem however as it is revealed that Freddy is actually after his own child!

      As always, the special effects are great. Nightmare on Elm Street consistently delivers top notch effects throughout the series. This entry doesn’t flex its muscle as much as some of the previous ones.     But when it does, it’s still the top notch quality we’ve come to expect.

      Freddy’s Dead is notorious for its take on video games and it’s powerglove reference. The rest of the film is filled with those kind of corny moments. Freddy is pretty much a one liner machine. The only problem is that his one liners are so Eye rollingly bad that it hurts. It’s still somewhat entertaining and probably would be less cringe inducing if the killer wasn’t such an icon. But alas this  was the evolution of Freddy Krueger.

Body Count:3

Happy Halloween!!! Thanks for reading these shit reviews. See you next year!

Day 30: The Intruder Within

     In 1979, Director Ridley Scott unleashed one of the most horrifying science fiction films of all time, Alien. The film spawned a popular franchise and influenced sci-fi horror titles to this day. Many films took its influence a little too far however. Several titles never sought to separate themselves from Alien but rather to imitate its formula and hope that it would lead to success. The Intruder Within is a made for TV film that does just that.

      As opposed to being set in outer space, The Intruder Within takes place on an oil rig stationed near the South Pole. While digging deep into the oceans surface for oil, the crew come across a strange creature that attacks them. They dispose of the creature, but a mysterious geologist hired by the “Zortron” organization acquires some of its eggs. He experiments with the eggs and of course one of them hatched and begins to murder the crew.

      The  Intruder Within does have a unique setting compared to most Alien ripoffs. But when the first creature turns up you’ll see that they didn’t even try differentiate it from the chest bursted in Alien. The final creature looks different, but where does it come from? Oh a crew members chest? I never saw that coming.

      But it’s similarities to Alien aren’t the problem with this film. It’s problem lies within the pacing. It’s a dreadful, drawn out snooze fest. There is hardly any actual creature action and when the final creature does show up the effects look awful. Not to mention that the awful creature is only around for the last 10 minute so of the movie. He’s not given enough time to cause nearly the amount of on screen carnage viewers will be wanting. They’ll instead be treated to about an hour and 10 minutes of boring dialogue from stale characters with little payoff. Stick with Alien.

Body Count:7

Day 29: Cat’s Eye

    Cat’s Eye is another anthology film written by Stephen King. It differs from most other Anthologies in that it doesn’t have a wrap around per se. It instead goes from story to story by following the central cat from area to area. The cat plays a role in every story. So each tale is connected. It’s a creative and different way of doing anthology horror.

    The first story follows James Woods as he signs up for a treatment to quit smoking. He quickly realizes he’s getting more than he bargained for when the head of the treatment center explains to him  that he will be under 24 hour surveillance. If he is to relapse, they will abduct his family and force him to watch them be tortured. This is a good story with some great suspense building up to the climax.

    The second story involves a  retired Tennis player in the midst of an affair with a wealthy criminals wife. When the criminal gets word of this he orders the capture the tennis guy and forces him to sidle along his skyscraper apartment to get to the other side. If he makes it, he will get a ton of money and his wife. If he doesn’t...well, he dies. This is probably the weakest segment of the movie. It comes off more as a crime thriller than horror.

     Finally, the third story stars a young Drew Barrymore who finds the cat and wants to keep it. Her mother is more than against it and forces the cat to stay outside at night under the belief that cats steal peoples breathe when they sleep. Unbeknownst to her, there is a tiny creature actually looking to steal her daughters breathe and it’s the cats calling to put a stop to it. This is the only story to feature any sort of supernatural horror. It plays more like a children’s fantasy story but has decent creature effects and is fun.

    Overall Cat’s Eye won’t be the best anthology horror you can watch. It’s far from the worst though. It’s way of tying the stories together is unique and none of the stories are actually bad. They are however, pretty middle of the road. Be on the lookout for some awesome nods to King’s Novels as well.

Body Count:2

Day 28:Psycho Cop 2

        Officer Joe Vickers (but not really) is back and he’s out for blood. Several office workers plan an  after hours bachelor party for their coworker. After the office shuts down they stay behind and call some strippers up to the office. It’s all fun and games until officer Vickers uses his police outfit to get inside the building. One by one he begins killing the workers and strippers all while delivering some of the worst jokes ever told on screen.

     It’s the Psycho Cop you remember and love only with more gore, my nudity, and more awful cop jokes. This is what sequels should always be and Psycho Cop does it right. There’s even some social commentary in there with a re-enactment of Rodney King, only with roles reversed. Nobody is gonna accuse the Psycho Cop series of being masterpiece cinema. Far from it actually. The direction and acting are abysmal. But that’s part of the fun and these are two very fun films. This one is even better than the first.

Body Count:9

Day 27:Premonition

    Three hippie musicians move into a remote cabin outside of San Francisco. They come across strange red flowers and even mistakenly smoke them. Each of the band members begins to suffer hallucinations of their deaths. But are they hallucinations? Or are they premonitions of what’s in their future.

      Premonition is weird. There’s no other way of looking at it. The movie ended and I asked myself what exactly I just watched and was there a point? The horror is understated and characters take center stage in this one. The characters though, are about as interesting as year old stale Cheerios. Yes, they are rock musicians but that’s about all that you’re actually going to remember about them coming away from this.

      It does have a couple things going for it though. The music is a mix of jammy rock n roll and eerie synth. Live performance scenes are fun including psychedelic color and dancing hippies. The hallucinations bring a great atmosphere of genuine dread and doom. It’s just a shame that all of this gets lost in a sea of boredom.

 

Body Count:1

Day 26: Werewolf Of Washington

     Werewolf of Washington is the story of a news reporter having an affair with the Presidents daughter. When he tries get out of the affair he requests a transfer to Budapest. He makes the excuses that he’s being banished for being too pro administration but when the president hears of this he offers him a job he can’t refuse. During an assignment in Hungary, the reporter is bit by a Werewolf. Now back in Washington, he has the whole city in fear!

      This film is a horror comedy but the humor is much more subtle than most horror comedies. Most of its contemporaries are very over the top and campy in their laughs. Werewolf is more focused on satirizing the political climate of its time. Filmed and released during the Nixon administration, the film pulls no punches going as far as shooting a close up of the Watergate building just for the hell of it.

      That said, just about everything else in this movie is pretty bad. The effects, the acting, and even the story is pretty much just The Wolfman meets The President. The political satire isn’t enough to hold interest for an hour and a half. Perhaps some of its jabs are better felt by people who were alive during the Nixon presidency. Some of the jokes, such as police immediately blaming the Black Panthers for the murders can be felt today in regards to the political climate with Black Lives Matter. But for the most part it’s dated.

     Body Count: 6

Day 25:White Zombie

       White Zombie is often credited as the first feature length Zombie film. It stars Bela Lugosi at perhaps the height of his fame after the release of Dracula.  It tells the tale of a woman who is to be married to the love of her life. A jealous plantation owner on Haiti goes to Lugosi for help in winning her love. Lugosi turns her into a mindless zombie to grant his wish.

      Despite being the zombie movie that started it all, White Zombie has very little in common with modern zombie cinema. The term Zombie was originally referring to a reanimated corpse that was resurrected as a result of voodoo. Zombies didn’t spread like an infection and they didn’t feast on the flesh of the living. These genre mainstays didn’t show up till the 60’s with George Romero’s masterpiece Night Of The Living Dead. White Zombie depicts its undead in a more traditional manner and even questions whether or not they’re undead at all or just under a trance.

     This was an independent production. So the budget was low and the acting reflects that. Most of the actors turn in poor efforts. The lone exception of course is Lugosi. He is perfectly sinister and menacing in his role. The closeups of his eyes when he gives his trademark glare are actually haunting. His character bears some similarities to his portrayal of Dracula. But that probably just explains why Lugosi performs to perfection here.

     White Zombie isn’t going to be for everyone. It’s got bad production values and a slow moving plot. But it’s hard to say it’s a bad movie. It’s actually pretty good. It’s carried by Bela Lugosi’s chilling performance. Still, casual horror fans may lose interest after the opening scenes. White Zombie is historically significant to hardcore horror fans and I recommend they check it out.

Body count:7